writing something

Tonight i want to write something
i want to pour out my heart in words
Where i can say my deepest fears
Where i can confess everything
Even the things i feel deep inside

I feel like writing something
something on the days i have lived
the nights i have cried through
the sunsets i have endured
And the mornings i have prayed
The deepest desires of my own self

May sound so weird
But i have lost mt own in days
The years i have seen the world
The memories i can recollect
I can see myslef being and becomming what i am
And i can know, this was not me twenty two years back

The past has been in the mind
and i remember it sitting here alone in dark
it gives me pain, happiness, pleasure
and this is what has made me as i am
that one that has created my, evolved me, the today
and i am still finding who i am
And i get no answer from within me

I want to write something
Of the dreams i have seen
of those i have achieved
and those that were broken
And about one deares dream of finding love
Which is yet to be materialised
Will it be broken? will it be the truth?
I dont know and i am waiting

I want to write something
Of the freinds i have had
of thsoe who are still there with me
and more of those who have left me in midst
Of the days we spent togather
Of the talks we still have
Of the promises we could not keep
And the commitments which were never there

I want to write something
Of the places i have been to
Of those i dont like
but i know i remember them too
Of thsoe i loved
and i never wanted to leave
Of those that were mine some day
but not a part of me now
But i still love that place, and i want it back

I feel like writing something
that i remember all bad and ugly too
i remember all good and happy
for all those are the things that have made me
the way i am
but still i feel i have lost myself
lost in the hope of getting something better
lost in struggle of living some more
always giving up myslef for others
and also giving up on others
noone to take me as i am
noone to know me the whole, and still love me
and i wait for the love of mine
to feel to love, and to feel being loved
without strings without conditions
coz i will be me, again and recovered
when the love will embrace me
and find the most beautiful place on earth

Just tonight i felt like writing something
I didnt know what to write
what to say
but something on me, my life, my dreams - JUST ME.